October 29, 2008

Homoeo'podi' (TBE # 1)

Well, I would not exactly include this incident under the topic "The Bhuvan Effect / TBE"), as it is not exactly an event where something that could not go wrong went wrong nonetheless. I have included it in the topic, as it was one of those events which reflect my "adventures" over the past 7+ years in Germany.

This occurred a few years back, probably sometime in 2002. A neighbour of mine from Vellore, India was travelling to USA, via Frankfurt. I had asked my mother to send me some 'podi's (spice powders) through him. What I did not know was that since his transit time was not more than 4 hours (or something like that), he was not entitled to a transit visa wherein he might leave the boarding area at Frankfurt airport, and I naturally could not enter the departure lounge as I did not have a boarding pass. Well, I went to the airport, was refused any access to this guy, and was disappointed. I was then directed to the Chief Duty Officer of the Frankfurt Int'l Airport, who said that only an emergency would entitle us to meet.

Naturally, I asked him what I should do to create an emergency. She was perplexed, and told me that an emergency usually "happened" and could not be "created". Hmm, but that gave me an idea. I told her that this friend was actually bringing some medicines for me. "What sort of medicines do you need that can not be obtained here in Germany?", she asked me. "Hmm, well, er, Homoeopathy medicines", I retorted. "Germany is the home of homoeopathy. Tell me the nature of the medicine, and I will decide if or not to let you get them from him." Oops, there I was caught. But not so fast...

I told her that I could explain her better if I actually had the stuff with me, instead of describing my illness that needed the medicines. Good, she ordered an airport officer to get into the plane and get the medicines from this friend. The "medicines" were brought to customs, where a small group of officers had gathered wondering at the various "podi's" that my mother had sent me. They suspected it was probably some kind of drugs. Allmächdna!!!

I was in a quandary, and had a good deal of explanation to do. "Where are your medicines?". "Yes, where are my medicines?" "And what are these powders?" Well, this is what i told them. "Oh my God, you have got the wrong powders. These are indeed not the medicines I was looking for. They are spice powders. This, for example is coriander powder. This one here is pulse powder (paruppu podi). To make this, you do this, bla bla bla...". But then hey, where are my medicines? The idiot forgot my medicines.

I guess the explanation was either too convincing, or too confusing. More probably the latter. It has always been my principle - "If you can't convinve them, confuse them". The customs official just said: Get lost!!! And did I have a message for my friend, which they could give him on the plane? Why, of course, yes!!! On a piece of paper, I wrote in English: "You idiot, where are my medicines? Am pissed off!!!" Immediately below that, I wrote in Tamil: "Hey, thanx. I got 'em".

Well, looking back at that incident now, I feel that I was taking too much risk for nothing. But then, that is the thrill in it. In my life, I have always done things just for the thrill of it, overlooking the underlying risks. And have suffered the consequences a few times, too.

But then tell me, what is Bhuvan if not the risk and thrill factor? No risk, no Bhuvan. No thrill, no Bhuvan effect!!! Carpe diem.

October 21, 2008

The Bhuvan Effect

Most probably you would already have heard of Murphy's law. In short it says: "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong." Like the buttered side of a bread always falling face down when you drop it.

Well, my experiences here in Germany (so-called Ger'Mania', eponymous with this blog) have led some people here to formulate what is known as the "Bhuvan Effect". It is simply a corollary to Murphy's law. Put in simple terms, Bhuvan Effect states that: "Even if some thing can never ever go wrong, it still will." More clearly, if there are 'n' number of possible outcomes to an event, and none of them can go wrong, then there will surely be an 'n+1'th outcome that never existed before, which will simply turn out just when the event occurs.

No, I am not bluffing. Believe me, it has really occurred, and not just once. Even I found it hard to believe, but quite a few events in the past have led me to believe in the possibility of the existence of such an effect. And it is about these events that I will be blogging about on these pages in the coming time.

So, watch out for it - "The Bhuvan Effect". Cheers !!!

October 15, 2008

Im Herzen der Scheisse

I have always wanted to document my adventures in Deutschland by way of a book. Something on the lines of "A year in the Merde" (Stephen Clarke), giving it an equally atrocious name. Thought of quite a few titles, like "Eine Ewigkeit in der Scheisse" (a blatant and near-perfect copy of the title), "Sick of home", "Boo-1", etc., but decided against all these, as I did not feel any of these to reflect what I wanted to put in the book. Moreover, everytime I have sit down to write something, I have balked at it, as I always comfortably find a stumbling block (hehehe, some call it "laziness").

So it is really a surprise that I have now decided to get my hands dirty by starting to put some words on to paper. I have already started collecting points (yes, points !!!) for the book, like a list of events (read: adventures) to write about. Hope my dear friends and fellow conspirators would pitch in with their own reminscences and correct me and update me when and where I go wrong or forgetful. Once I have started writing, I can always think of a good title for the "book"...

Let me see if I really manage to get the show on the road!!! Cheers :)

August 29, 2008

Back from hibernation

OK..the pause has really been too long, more than 2 1/2 years. There are quite a few reasons for me for having discontinued with my blogging, the foremost being the mother of all causes - laziness. In technical terms, a body in inertia needs a high starting force (or torque) to start it and set it in motion. Well, put "laziness" instead of inertia, and "kick on the butt" for starting force/torque, and there you have it - the recipe for getting out of literary coma.

What caused this inertia? And what was the proverbial kick on the B? The fact I was looking for a job that time back in 2006, and the consequential dis-attention I gave to writing, was one. And the raison d'etre behind my attempt to revitalize the blog? Was feeling really dissed and de-motivated about me, my life and pretty much lots of things around me.

Well, I guess that keeping up a blog, and the motivation to keep it alive, is good enough a way to spend time meaningfully and gear myself up for greater things. Let me see if I maintain it, or much like many other things I am known to do, leave it stranded in its nascent stages again.

There has to be a start somewhere, somehow, and here it is. (Thank you Al Bundy) Let's rock!!!